Week Twenty Nine

So I never did hear the results of that glucose test last week. I did try to call and get the results, but it's pretty much impossible to just call and talk to someone at that doctor's office. I left a message for what seemed to be the right person, but I never heard back. I'm going to operate on the assumption that everything must be fine or I would've heard. I guess I'll find out for certain at next week's appointment (they're every two weeks now).

Nothing monumental has happened this week, but I have constant physical and mental reminders that things are breezing right along whether I want them to or not. My body, which at first seemed to be rather peppy about this whole growing a new creature thing, has started to grumble. I suspect my feet and ankles are swelling slightly, based on the lines my socks are leaving and the semi-snugness of my shoes. My allergies are extra sensitive and I have a constant low level, but noticeable, amount of head congestion. Fun fact: your body produces a lot of extra mucus during pregnancy!

But these are very minor things and I really am thankful for how smoothly things have gone physically so far. Of course that can't stop me from worrying about everything. My worrying is impenetrable! I can worry through any amount of goodness that might lead a sane person to relax. Currently my worry is that the Nubby is not quite as violent as she should be. Yes, that's right, on blogs and websites that I frequent, women are always talking about how crazy the kicks of their babies are. I have read anecdotes of vigorous kickers breaking their mother's ribs for crying out loud. But the Nubby's movements and kicks don't bother me at all. In fact, until I started worrying about them, I thought they were just adorable. Not jarring in the least, the delicate little flutter kicks of a polite young lady. But now what am I to think? Is she not developing muscularly the way she should? Does she not have the proper levels of energy?

And in proper moody pregnancy style, when I am not worrying, I am excited. Excited about setting up the nursery and excited about my baby shower this weekend. And just excited in general about meeting the little critter I've been hauling around for seven months now.

Here's a funny from fitpregnancy.com. It was originally published in 2007 so I just changed the date.

Owner's Manual

A product information guide and limited warranty for new parents

By Christian Thom

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are the proud owner of a 2009 model child. Your offspring has been issued a Social Security number (SSN) for registration purposes. Please present this number when product needs servicing. To identify make and model, locate adapter between lower appendages. If adapter is female (XX), you have a beautiful baby girl. If adapter is male (XY), a bouncing baby boy is yours.
NOTE: A complimentary head protector covers the XY model's adapter. Removal is at the owner's discretion.
WARNING FOR OWNERS OF XX MODEL! Beautiful is a relative term.
WARNING FOR OWNERS OF XY MODEL! Do not attempt to actually bounce baby.

PACKAGING
Baby comes wrapped in protective coating. Do not sign for delivery if this layer is missing or appears to have been tampered with. All extraneous material, including placenta, is not reusable and must be properly disposed of. A fuel line (UBC) connects model to host unit. Only a licensed representative should disconnect cord. Product should operate as a cordless unit for the duration of its lifetime. Batteries should not be inserted into baby.

WARNINGS!

Do Not use baby to block heating or cooling vents.
Do Not store foreign objects in baby's openings.
Do Not attempt to fold or compress baby into small spaces.

HELPFUL HINTS

• Gently jiggling baby in an up/down motion and patting on spine can remove air bubbles.
• For the first six months, power source can be sustained with FDA-approved formula (not included) or unpasteurized calcium and vitamin D source provided by mother unit.
• When programming and communicating with baby, exaggerating and articulating language with movement, as when talking with a foreigner, is recommended.
• Baby will not become self-cleaning for at least two years. It is recommended that porous surfaces be wiped at least twice a day and whenever leakage occurs. Unit may be lubricated using baby lotion, diaper cream or other nontoxic solvent.

TROUBLESHOOTING
Problem Baby won't shut down.
Try producing melodic and somniferous sound waves and repositioning unit using a pendulum motion.
Problem Baby leaks and discharges.
Try changing vacuum-sealed disposal bag (not included).
Problem Baby is not desired make or model.
Try living with this common problem. Do not try to change gender of model by attaching or removing X or Y parts.
Problem Baby does not resemble father unit.
Try calling local service center for confirmation of compatible programming code. Or skip previous step and get over it.

WARRANTY AND LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY
WARRANTY FOR FULL RETURN WILL TERMINATE AT THE END OF ONE YEAR, AFTER WHICH TIME RESALE AND RELOCATION BECOME DIFFICULT. OWNER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR INDIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL AND CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES CAUSED BY THE ABOVE MENTIONED UNDER ANY LEGAL AUTHORITY, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO DAMAGE TO PUBLIC AND/OR PRIVATE PROPERTY, HAVOC WREAKED ON MARRIAGE, AND LOST PROFITS, YOUTH, HAIR, LEISURE TIME AND SANITY. OWNER WILL COVER ALL COSTS OF DAMAGE TO AND MAINTANANCE OF DATA PROGRAMMED AND STORED IN SYSTEM OF PROCESSOR UNTIL EXPIRATION DATE OF EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS DESPITE PRODUCT'S INDIVIDUAL CLAIMS OF AUTONOMY.

Week Twenty Eight - Perfect in Every Way

Okay, I'm really writing this during week twenty nine, but I had good stuff to say about twenty-eight, I just kept putting it off (hoping to get test results back to report on).

I did go to the doctor last week and we got to meet with our favorite doctor yet. Instead of just coming in, listening to the heart beat, then leaving again with only a few how-do-ya-do's left in his wake, he came in and SAT DOWN. Then he proceeded to tell me what was happening to me and the baby that week, the things that would be happening soon and the things I needed to start looking out for. Exactly the information I had been trying to wrangle out the last guy, I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to be asking. He then proceeded to tell me my pregnancy was perfect in every way. Such a gentleman! My uterus is apparently exactly the right size, down to the inch. The Nubby's heartbeat is just right. My weight gain is right where it should be for me to have gained the standard 25-30 pounds by week 40 (yikes!). From here on out, my precious little daughter will be causing me to gain a pound every week, bless her heart.

I did have to take that dreaded Glucose Challenge Test last week too. When we first got there, they gave me a little bottle of fruit punch flavored super sugar water that I had to drink in less than five minutes, then mark the time. It really WAS super sweet, and almost so similar to Hawaiian Punch that I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to drink that stuff again. Exactly an hour later they drew some blood and shipped it off somewhere to figure out how my body handled that much sugar. I can tell you how my body handled that much sugar, about 30 minutes after I got home, I literally passed out at the keyboard while I was trying to work. Super sugar high=super sugar crash.

Week...er... Twenty-Seven...

Time flies when it's December. The Nubby had her first (and last) Christmas in utero and she thought it was just grand. She especially liked all the tasty and sugar-laden foods that I consumed solely for her enjoyment. Yep, all for her.

In the lapse between this post and the last we have visited the doctor, but it was another quick in and out deal. We heard her little heartbeat, which seems to have settled itself for now in the 160s (bpm), and were on our way again. My next visit sounds like it's going to be the longest one yet because I have to take a Glucose Challenge Test to test for signs of gestational diabetes. This involves drinking an incredibly sugary drink and then waiting for an hour to have my blood tested to see how my body handles it. Only something like 5% of all pregnant women get this type of diabetes but I'm still so nervous about this particular test. Maybe because the results have been in my hands all along - unlike most other tests - and I'm scared I haven't done right by my baby. As of next Tuesday we'll know.

As for the Nubby, well she's got her own thing going on. This week she has been incredibly active during the day, distracting me from my work by squirming around all cute like. Though I'm not longer amazed at having a baby inside me I am still rather amazed that I can have a being the size of an eggplant in my body and I can only tell it's there when it's moving. You would think if there was a little two pound critter in you with limbs and bones and whatnot, you'd be able to feel its shape against your kidneys and it's wriggly little toes on your spleen all the time. Not so. Not yet anyway.

And though we've yet to meet this little girl or see more of her than a smudgy blotch on the ultrasound, her funny little habits have already earned her a personality in the eyes of her dad and I. She's a bossy little contrarian who demands to be fed but refuses to submit to our whims. She will happily pound away at the walls of my belly until her dad puts his hand there and she will immediately stop, no matter how much we plead for just one more cute little kick. I tell him he must have hands of amazing comforting abilities and that this will come in super handy when she is actually here and in a fuss. But if she truly is a contrary little booger like we suspect, then that probably won't be the case either.

PS - You see that shirt down there in the last post? I got it for Christmas from my sis. It's funny and I dig it.