Week Twenty Three

Well, it's finally happened. I actually feel pregnant. What have I been feeling all along you may ask? I've felt nauseous, I've felt over-tired, I've felt chubby, but these are all feeling that could've come from any number of things like a Nutter Butter spree or a Ben Stiller movie.

But now...now I actually feel like there is something inside me. There is definitely something feeding off of me and stealing my life juice for its own betterment. I am quite aware now that I am carrying around a lot more than a little extra holiday weight. I'm not sure what caused this sudden change in my frame of reference this week. Maybe it's that getting off the couch is now a workout in itself. Or maybe it's this new thing I'm learning, sleep paranoia, where you worry even as you're passing out from exhaustion that you may roll into the wrong position and squish the little booger.

It's not a bad feeling, this feeling of being pregnant, and it doesn't feel unnatural like I thought it would (I guess that's cause it's...natural). But I read about women who believe that they develop quasi-sacred psychological maternal bonds with their fetuses, and I definitely don't feel any of that. I just feel like there's a tiny person inside of me and said little tiny person is in no way about to let me forget it.

PS - That's not me in the picture. I just think it's a funny shirt.

Week Twenty Two

Hopefully my baby will not inherit my tendency for procrastination when it comes to her inevitable blog, or anything else for that matter. But I have a little bit of a good excuse this time as we've been traveling and then recovering from traveling. We took the Nubby on her first vacation - to San Francisco! Where she had some fancy dinners and even climbed a mountain in the redwoods and got the t-shirt to prove it. It must've been a good time because I didn't hear any complaining.

After we got home we played catch up for a few days and then had another four days off over Thanksgiving. This may have been my first "time off" where I actually took time off. And I didn't even feel (too) guilty; I felt justified in sleeping late every single day and then sitting around doing not much of anything but eating. I figure this probably won't ever happen again so why not milk it while I've got the chance.

I did have a doctor's appointment last week and for the first time I had gained weight. I've netted seven pounds now which the doctor said was just fine and the Nubby's little heart was beating furiously away in my belly so he sent us away for another four weeks. Bodily, I'm still feeling healthy and happy though I'm really "feeling" my belly now. Sunday morning I woke up feeling all stretched out and taut like I'd gained ten pounds overnight. When I dropped something on the floor and just swooped down to grab it as usual I realized suddenly on the way back up I couldn't really do that anymore. From now on, bending over requires advanced planning and strategory.

Almost all of my non-stretchy pants are out of the picture at this point and my belly is not shy about poking out from under my t-shirts. The Nubby will not be ignored! Indeed if my mind drifts for even a minute away from my looming miracle, that little miracle delivers a few swift kicks to remind me. She does love to kick ( what else does she have to do in there all day after all?). That is, of course, unless we want her to kick at any given moment. Then the contrary little booger is stubbornly still.

Our April 4 deadline (bornline?) is beginning to seem more real everyday and to-do lists are forming left and right. Planning the nursery, scheduling childbirth classes, reading about cord blood storage. And apparently we're already supposed to have the whole day care thing figured out?? Not to mention all the normal December craziness. This whole baby thing, it seems, is not for the weak. A little extra effort won't be wasted next time I pop Yoga Mama in the DVD player.